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WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in
life:
You can stay single and be
miserable,
or get married and wish you
were dead.
__________
At a cocktail party, one
woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong
finger?'
'Yes, I am. I married the
wrong man.'
__________
A lady inserted an ad in the
classifieds:
'Husband Wanted'.
Next day she received a
hundred letters.
They all said the same
thing:
'You can have mine.'
__________
When a woman steals your
husband,
there is no better revenge
than to let her keep him.
__________
A woman is incomplete until
she is married. Then she is
finished .
__________
A little boy asked his
father,
'Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?'
Father replied, 'I don't
know son, I'm still paying.'
__________
A young son asked,
'Is it true Dad, that in
some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife
until he marries her?'
Dad replied, 'That happens
in every country, son.'
__________
Then there was a woman who
said,
'I never knew what real
happiness was until I got
married,
and by then, it was too
late.'
__________
Marriage is the triumph of
imagination over
intelligence.
__________
If you want your spouse to
listen and
pay strict attention to
every word you say -- talk
in your sleep.
__________
Just think, if it weren't
for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they
had no faults at all.
__________
First guy says, 'My wife's
an angel!'
Second guy remarks, 'You're
lucky, mine's still alive.'
__________
'A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom to understand a man,
to Love and to forgive him,
and for Patience for his
moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for
Strength I'll just beat him
to death'
__________
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting
at the bus stop with their
nine children.
A blind man joins them after
a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they
find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine
kids are able to fit onto
the bus.
So the husband and the blind
man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband
gets irritated by the
ticking of the stick of the
blind man
as he taps it on the
sidewalk, and says to him,
'Why don't you put a piece
of rubber at the end of your
stick?
That ticking sound is
driving me crazy.'
The blind man replies, 'If
you had put a rubber at the
end of YOUR stick,
we'd be riding the bus, so
shut the
hell up.'
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